Angus Morton / Work in progress

Back in 2019 I sat down to chat with Angus ‘Gus’ Morton on a warm, sunny day in Girona. Maybe it was the forced period of inactivity – his US visa had temporarily been revoked – but an interview ostensibly focusing on his hugely influential Thereabouts and Outskirts films somehow drifted into a lengthy conversation that explored the bike as a tool for journeying, new directions in professional cycling and living a life of simple pleasures.

Fast forward a few years and Gus continues to make inspirational films that offer a unique vision for sport. But his own journey has seen him confront a decade long battle with addiction and a desire to step away from playing the leading man.

Catching up with Gus over a transatlantic call, talk of life in LA and city riding habits grounds our conversation in the new life he is piecing together: Gus offering a searingly honest account of his decision to quit drinking and how his search for sobriety is opening up a whole new perspective on health and happiness.

Gus
G’day mate. Sorry for the slight delay but I was just dropping my dog off.

cyclespeak
How’s that going?

Gus
Yeah, it’s good. I’ve got this big Dobermann and it’s pretty full on. He’s bloody huge and needs a good amount of exercise. So he goes out to a friend’s ranch when I’m away on work trips.

cyclespeak
You’re living in LA?

Gus
I’m in Echo Park. Sort of north and east from Downtown.

cyclespeak
I guess everyone drives everywhere?

Gus
I mostly ride my motorcycle to get around. But with having the dog and shooting so much in the backcountry, I’ve also got a truck.

cyclespeak
Which I’m guessing is stereotypically big?

Gus
It’s fucking enormous. But only considered a small truck here. If you saw it you’d think I was taking the piss because it’s lifted and has these giant tyres. Totally over the top.

cyclespeak
Is LA a workplace choice or somewhere you just feel at home?

Gus
That’s a good question. I’ve actually lived in LA before but this time around it was initially a work choice. A lot of the film production companies are based out here but right now it does feel increasingly like home.

cyclespeak
I was wondering what professional hat you’re wearing at the moment? Writer, director, producer?

Gus
I guess I’m a director from a skill set point of view. But working primarily in documentary filmmaking means that often I’m also producing, filming and doing the edit. And I’m quite particular so I do have this tendency to get involved in every aspect [laughs].

cyclespeak
Does that mean there’s no such thing as a typical day?

Gus
I do like to be very structured and organised. So I don’t necessarily have a typical work day but I’m usually up and working by 7:30 am in the morning.

cyclespeak
I’ve mentioned before that your Outskirts films had a profound influence on the way I now ride. Do you ever revisit them?

Gus
That all seems like a lifetime ago [smiles]. And I don’t know that I’ve watched any of them since they were first released.

cyclespeak
Always looking to the next project?

Gus
I guess I’m not particularly sentimental about my work. But I do often think about the experience I had in making those films because it was so life changing. So I have fond memories of the people and the places and that mode of travel. And having since done more extreme adventures, those times on the road filming Outskirts are still the pinnacle of what, for me, is enjoyment on the bike.

cyclespeak
When we chatted back in 2019, you mentioned that when you initially tried using a post-production company to edit the first Outskirts film, the shit they cut out was what you wanted to stay in. Now that you’re working in LA, are people still missing the true edit?

Gus
That’s an interesting question [laughs]. And going back to what I said before, it wasn’t that they did it wrong. It was more how they took a different point of view. And that happens all the time which is why I now like to show my work early, in an effort to bring my clients along on the journey with me.

cyclespeak
Outskirts had this wonderful cast of random characters you met on the road. And I was wondering whether you’re still striking up conversations with total strangers?

Gus
Actually not that often. And I have to admit that I don’t see myself as a very outgoing person. I tend to keep to myself, I have a small group of friends and I don’t do a lot of social stuff. Which is maybe a contrast to what you see in Outskirts but that was a huge effort for me. Which, in part, is why I stopped making them. Because the amount of nervous energy that it took to be that character was just exhausting.

cyclespeak
When we chatted previously about Dirty Kanza – Unbound as it’s now known – you totally called it on the alternative calendar and the subsequent shift in focus from cycling brands and professional teams. But now that gravel is firmly established, we seem to be seeing more arguments over tactics and equipment. In your view just teething troubles or the inevitable consequence of more sponsorship money?

Gus
It’s probably an inevitable consequence of human nature? As a group grows larger, you have more voices, more personalities and more points of view. Some people will feel protective of it – they liked it how it was – and some might have a sense of ownership. Maybe it was easier to win before it began to attract such a strong field? So if you take all of this into consideration, then it’s not unsurprising that we now have differences in opinion.

cyclespeak
Differences that can be resolved?

Gus
The test for the gravel scene is how they mitigate these points of view and for the community to still exist in some level of harmony. So maybe the idea of some sort of federation is perhaps inevitable. Personally, I hope it will be user led rather than one of the existing organisations like the UCI. Because without the athletes, none of this works. But, quite honestly, who gives a fuck what I think?

cyclespeak
Let’s bring things a little more closer to home then and talk about what your riding now looks like?

Gus
I tend to ride up to Griffith Park where you’ve got the Hollywood sign and all that shit. Maybe once or twice a week over lunch or into the evening after work. And that’s fun to me.

cyclespeak
Have you still got your Thereabouts Crust bike?

Gus
I do [laughs] but I’ve not ridden it for a while. And I should because there’s a lot of good gravel riding in LA actually.

cyclespeak
Speaking of bikes, I was watching the short I Am Here reel that switches between Iceland and Mexico. Riding a fat bike through an Icelandic winter looked the real deal?

Gus
It was. But unlike Outskirts there was nobody out there and the goal was to get to the finish rather than the journey in itself. And I find that I like this cold weather stuff because you really have to pay attention to the weather and the environment. Working with the elements rather than just bludgeoning through regardless—although it felt like that at times. Understanding when to move and when you need to stay safe and shelter. Definitely Type 2 fun [laughs].

cyclespeak
The film addresses your struggle with alcoholism. Can I ask how that journey is going for you?

Gus
It’s going well. I’ve come to realise that each person’s struggle with addiction is very unique. And there are other ways that addicts are nothing if not predictable. As for me, I’m coming up on three years since I first quit drinking. I had a couple of slip-ups in the first year so it’s now two years since I’ve been fully sober.

cyclespeak
How have things changed over that time?

Gus
In some ways I thought the most critical part would be quitting drinking and dealing with the physiological fallout of that. I’d checked into a rehab programme and that really opened my eyes to what the disease is. Something I thought about every hour of the day. But interestingly, for my type of personality, that gave me a focus. Kind of ticking off each day as a win. But I’d not be sober today if I hadn’t taken that first step and reached out for help.

cyclespeak
And when you came out of rehab?

Gus
Initially I was very anti group therapy but gradually I discovered the power in sharing experiences and talking over all the shit that’s so annoying. So AA defined my second year of sobriety and then this last year I discovered that I’m not thinking about drinking every hour of the day. This third year is really all about me growing up.

cyclespeak
In what sense?

Gus
I had a problem with drinking for 10 years. Basically my entire twenties. And there was a lot of growing up that I didn’t do and one reason was because I was so focused on being a professional athlete from such a young age. So this past year has seen a lot of emotional growth which has been pretty tough. Understanding how I behaved in the past and feeling a little like, fuck, why didn’t I see this coming sooner?

cyclespeak
I also stopped drinking about eight years ago as a way of simplifying my life. Removing a whole series of decisions that I don’t have to make anymore.

Gus
Absolutely. I fully understand that.

cyclespeak
And it takes a while but eventually that becomes a part of who you are now.

Gus
I guess I’m in that transition from when I used alcohol to mask everything. I’m no longer protecting myself from the world which can be a feature of those first steps in quitting drinking. When you’re not allowing yourself to be around a certain type of person for fear of a relapse.

cyclespeak
So what’s next?

Gus
I have ambitions for my life that need me to be more open and vulnerable. The world can be a big scary place but I need to take some risks. It can be very overwhelming when you open yourself up to that.

cyclespeak
Again, back in 2019, you stated that the only time you truly felt happy was on location shooting. Does that statement still stand?

Gus
No, not at all [laughs]. That time in Girona I was super late for our meeting because I was hungover. And that was my vibe back then. There were lots of things I just wasn’t dealing with emotionally at that time. So being on the road was a place I could hide from all that. Where I could justify my existence by trying to share a point of view and be around people that didn’t know me.

cyclespeak
And now?

Gus
That’s been one of the big lessons learnt this year. The realisation that back then I just wasn’t happy with who I was and drinking was a way of escaping that. Going on the road was a way of escaping that. So one of the biggest things I’ve had to do is to find happiness and a love for myself. Which I absolutely understand sounds like hocus pocus bullshit [laughs].

cyclespeak
So this is an alternative to always seeking escape?

Gus
In loving yourself I’m not saying as the main character in your life or any degree of narcissism but a satisfaction and contentment with who you are and where you’re headed. So often we’re caught up in chasing something but not always able to define what that actually is. So there’s this cycle of getting the thing you thought you wanted but immediately feeling dissatisfied.

cyclespeak
I’m sure a lot of people would recognise that feeling.

Gus
I sometimes wonder what it was that I was actually chasing? Was it an Oscar, a fucking house, a pat on the back? And all of this noise meant I never really considered whether I liked myself. And for a long while the honest answer would’ve been no. But over the past 12 months I’ve grown to kind of like who I am.

[pause]

Not kind of, I do [laughs].

cyclespeak
I ended our conservation in Girona by asking what’s the best thing about being Gus Morton. Can I ask you the same question now?

Gus
What did I say back then? Because this is the first interview I’ve done since getting sober that has really referenced me when I was drinking.

cyclespeak
I’ll just read back to you what you said in 2019…

It has its moments [laughs]. But, yeah, I have a great life. I’m very privileged to do what I love and to have the freedom to do that. It’s not easy in the sense that things don’t just fall on your lap. To have the life that I lead you have to chase it hard. And with the films; you want them to be aspirational. For people to engage and feel the need to go on their own journeys. In a sense, that’s the whole idea.

Gus
Damn. That’s pretty good.

cyclespeak
It certainly is.

Gus
I wouldn’t say it’s drifted too far. I do have a great life and feel very fortunate to have found sobriety. And everything else in that statement still stands. Maybe the only thing that I would add is that the films I was making back then, I was quite honestly making at the expense of everything else in my life.

cyclespeak
Were you aware of that?

Gus
I honestly thought it was okay. But what I didn’t recognise was how the people in my direct orbit really suffered as a result of that type of behaviour. To some degree I thought that if we did the films right, then more people would benefit than be hurt by it. And to be honest, that’s really a fucked up way of approaching your relationships with people.

cyclespeak
So what’s changed?

Gus
The aspirations have remained the same. To get people to ride and have positive experiences through life by participating in sport. But the lengths to which I’ll now go to achieve them have shortened and I don’t feel the need to be the main character anymore.

cyclespeak
Is that an easy thing to let go of?

Gus
Sure, I still have a fucking big ego and that’s something I’m really trying to work on. Probably a work in progress forever [laughs].

cyclespeak
I feel it’s important to just say that your filmmaking and the work you’ve done with Thereabouts has inspired countless people to get outside and engage in sport.

Gus
That’s kind of you to say and I do appreciate it. But the thing that I really struggled with was separating my identity from that body of work. I always felt that in the public’s eyes, they just wanted me to inhabit this certain role. And I think it’s maybe time to move on from all that.

cyclespeak
Without the need for you to step back into that character.

Gus
Yes. Exactly.

[Gus pauses as he gathers his thoughts]

It would be nice for my work to be enjoyed not because I once wore a t-shirt and cracked open a beer. If people want to ride not because they see me in my work but because they see better versions of themselves in it. That, in my mind, would be a good way forward.